I believe.
Profile
Fifteen.
Mixed.
Capricorn
Christian.
Idealist.
Cassiopeian.
I'm 16 years old and live in good ol' Scunthorpe. I procrastinate alot, read and write when I am in one of those "moods" but mostly I just listen to music and rave my problems away. I have no particular talent, but I enjoy fashion
This is my personal blog, my heart, mind and deepest feelings will be put here. I won't hold back, so if you read something you don't agree with, or think is directed to you...don't assume. As the saying goes"Assume and you make an ass out of you and me"
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misc
Photos
It's a new year...
Thursday 7 January 2010 @ 07:21
January comes with so many events, both sad and happy.
Sadness that there's many people who have lost their lifes, but then again...others lose their lifes on other months too...
I don't know, I'm particularly sad because it's the month in which my own godfather died and as I'm writing this tears are surfacing, blurring my vision. I don't know... so many people dislike this month yet I have both my own birthday and a loss.
I just wish I could get away, I know that this coming week the people sorrounding me won't be able to provide me with any comfort. Not the comfort I need.
I just...I always feel as if I have to be strong and bear everything with a smile when inside I'm just empty. I just want to spend this month with my family. The only people who truly know how I am and how to support me. I don't need hugs and concerned looks, I need smiles and happiness and the only way to get that is to spend time with my family. The people who I know I can always depend on. The people that I don't second guess and the people who don't feel the need to molly-coddle me or watch my everystep. I just need someone to be beside me, like normal.
My letter to Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.
Friday 25 December 2009 @ 22:41
My dear oppas,
6 long years have gone by.
6 years full of sweat, tears, laughter and love.
Every step you’ve taken down this hard, long, road we have been with you,
Supporting you and showering you with our eternal love,
Though this year has been a hard one for all of us,
Never forget the memories you have made together, with us fans
Remember Tokyo Dome.
Smile as you recall the shining blue lights that enraptured you and your smiles.
Remember 2008, the year you achieved your first Oricon chart number 1.
Also remember MKMF’s 2008 awards,
Remember the emotions you felt standing on that stage as you won “Album of the year award”.
Remember the hard work you put into that album and your comeback,
Remember the support and love and the warm welcome that your Korean fans gave you.
Remember all the years you have spent together with love and affection.
And always remember that us fans, Cassiopeians, BigEast, International fans,
Fans who love Dong Bang Shin Ki, Tohoshinki, TVXQ,
Remember that we will always stand by you.
Always love you.
Most importantly look forward to making even more memories in the next year.
Memories which we hope you will look back at and remember fondly.
Let us continue this beautiful albeit hard and sometimes tumultuous journey.
Let us continue cheering each other on and bringing smiles to each others faces.
Let us continue hand in hand,
Together.
With love,
Steffany.
I love you
Saturday 12 December 2009 @ 22:47
I love you so much for taking care of me, even if sometimes we don't get along I know that you worked hard for me. I could never thank you enough.
You pick me up when I most need it and act as the rock which I lean on.
Even without you knowing you always manage to make my day that much brighter.
You can read me without me having to give you any signs and you understand that I just need you to be happy and OK and not be sad with me. You just get me.
You're not needy and I'm not needy, we just go along, together down this bumpy ride that is life.
...
Wednesday 9 December 2009 @ 22:58
I'm just trying to deny it all.
I just, I can't believe what my eyes saw.
My feelings just can't take this anymore. Why does he insist on hurting me, why?
Oh not this again.
@ 22:03
It happens, every year it happens without fail. I just do not understand. We get close and I fall hopelessly into that trap again and then he just leaves, but it's not happening this time. Fuck no. I'm not getting too close. I won't fall. I won't let him do this again, no matter how much I want to I just can't... I will not become that girl again. I refuse to.
On other lighter news, I found this video today or the song "Heartbeat" which I'm currently learning the dance to, and man oh man... it's so frickin' hilarious!
Labels: 2PM, Boys, Chipmunk, Fangirl
Tuesday 8 December 2009 @ 21:44
I just hate lying with an ardent passion.
But I still do it anyways. It's just lie after lie after lie, to the point where I almost feel scared to tell a simple truth!
Blah, and now I've gotten myself involved in one of my friends relationships. Pscht, I'm totally scrambled eggs.
I also hate hospitals, it seems as if I've practical spent most of my life there. It's just everytime I set foot in a hospital this wave of dread engulfs me. I just feel like walking back out and running as far away as I can.
I don't know. I just... I've got so many mixed feelings right now.
Monday 7 December 2009 @ 06:14
Eurgh, I did not sleep a wink this night.
I know it's probably my own fault, but I seriously blame DBSK.
I was up watching endless of videos of them, just reminiscing of the past, and wishing so ardently that none of these past few months had happened.
I know some people may think "Why do you care so much for a bunch of asian guys?"
But people don't know just how much I love them.
I've supported them for 5 years now and they've just become a fixture in my life, I begun caring for them and witnessing all these happenings going on breaks my heart.
People also don't know just how much their songs have help me through the darkest of times.
I just am comforted by their voices, comforted by their presence.
I don't know... these days have been so hard.
Labels: Always keep the faith, DBSK, I believe, Miduhyo, Tohoshinki, TVXQ, 동방신기, 東方神起